It's Disney's World...we just live in it

I recently took my kids to our first trip to Disneyworld.  So exciting!   The only time I went I was 21 years old.  The magic was lost on me.   I think to experience the "Wonder" of Disney that many people speak of, you have to experience it at a young age when you still believe the characters are real and not creepy people in costumes.

I wouldn't be me if something didn't piss me off.  Even at the wonderful world of Disney.   First off, we never even saw Mickey, Minney, Donald, Goofy and the gang.  I thought they would be walking around saying hi to the kids.  What, was it their day off or something?   Turns out they no longer walk around.  YOU have to now GO TO THEM!  They have huts or something that you go to and wait on line in order to see them and get an autograph.  Bullshit.   Why the hell do they even call it Disney World if the Disney characters aren't present?  They should just call it Orlando Amusements.   You would think that for the outrageous price tag on the entrance ticket and the amount of time you spend on line not really doing anything, Mickey can make a fucking appearance and say hi.   It would almost be like going to a wedding and the bride doesn't go around to each table to say hi and thank you for coming.   Instead, she sits in a room and waits for people to come see her. 

By now, everyone must know that if you are in a wheelchair or show a handicapped card, you can cut the line.   This just drives me insane for several reasons:

1.  If you are in a wheelchair, you are at least sitting.  The rest of us schmucks have to stand in line.  Standing is more taxing than sitting.  If you are sitting down the whole time, why can't you wait with the rest of us?  It's not like sitting in a chair for a 1/2 hour while on line will tire them out.  How does sitting in a chair warrant going to the exit and cutting the line?  I cry bullshit for the 2nd time this post. 

2.  Everyday we are being told by schools, social media and the news that people are equal.  It doesn't matter what color the person is, what country they are from or if they are handicapped or not.   Places of work have to spend money to accommodate a person in a wheelchair if hired.  They can't be turned down based on their handicap.  Everything has to be fair.  Then how come it doesn't have to be fair at Disney?  It's like, people get pissed off if they are treated differently due to their disability.   However, if this treatment actually benefits them, then it's ok.   How about we treat them equally and make them wait on line with us.

3.  THE RENTED WHEELCHAIRS SHOULD NOT COUNT!!!!  Ok, I understand why some people would need to rent a wheelchair at Disney.   People like my father in law.  He is functioning on a partial lung. In everyday life, he does pretty well, but there is no way in hell he could navigate around Disney without passing out.   I get it.  However, if you rent a wheelchair at Disney, it does mean that you can obviously function without one in the real world.  So, if you can function without one in real life, you should not get the benefit of cutting the line just because you need to be rolled around Disney.  I see these old people in rented wheelchairs who have their grand child sitting on their lap...then they go to the special line and get to go first.   This is beyond bullshit.  

Oh, and get this.   We did not purchase our tickets on line first.   We bought when we got there.  I swear to God there was a ticket booth with two people inside.   TWO PEOPLE!   That's insane!  Millions of people visit Disney each day.   What the hell are they thinking only having two ticket sales people???  It took forever!   We are finally at Disney, the kids are anxious to run in, but no, we have to wait a 1/2 hour just to buy the ticket to get in.  Even Shoprite has more money takers than that and has less than half the population each day.  Absolutely ridiculous.    Speaking of Shoprite, I have to admit that whoever invented this "Speed Pass" is a friggin genius!  If you are not familiar, Speed Pass works like this:    You want to go on a ride, but the displayed wait time shows that you have to wait for an hour to get on this ride.   Instead, you get a ticket for a "speed pass" and the ticket tells you what time (an hour window) to come back.   Then, when it's your designated time, you go with this special ticket on a different line and Viola!   Quick access to the ride.   During that time you have to wait for the speed pass to be active, you can go on another ride that has a lesser wait time, or you can shop, get some grub, whatever!  It really did assist us on being able to go on all the rides in the short time we had there.   I wish EVERYTHING has speed pass.  Imagine, walking into Shoprite, getting your speed pass for the check out time.  It gives you a time of a 1/2 hour away from when you got it.  You put all your items in the shopping cart and then by the time your are done, you go to your special speed pass line and check out right away.  No waiting on line behind someone arguing the price or with a million coupons.   No kids whining "when are we going home?".     I think I'm on to something here. 

I also think that for the amount of money spent to get into Disney, they should have some control over the weather.   It's like, I feel I paid enough money to guarantee that it won't rain and I won't be stuck seeking shelter crammed into a souvenir shop.  It rained several times when I was there.  In fact I was waiting on line, which happened to be indoors (no fast pass this time) and when it became our turn to ride the roller coaster it was pouring!   They still let us on the ride, but for me it totally sucked having the rain in my face.  Of course the kids loved it that way, so I should be happy.  Right?   Fortunately, my kids have the bestest, smartest mother in the world and I packed ponchos in my day trip bag that I schlepped all over Disney.  No need to spend $20 bucks on a plastic shmata that will rip into pieces after the rain.   Back to the topic,  I'm thinking they should just put a big dome over Disney to control the weather.   Fire the characters that are too lazy to walk around and use that salary money to build my dome. 

All in all, it was a great trip.   With only 2 days, we needed to plot and scheme as if we were surviving the Hunger Games.   Though we arrived home weathered and exhausted, we are happy that we are survivors.    A good time that I really never need to do again.